Monday, November 24, 2008
Wii are (not yet) the champions
A dude in cool 70s threads and sporting a giant afro walks along a dark city street. He is singing disco to himself. He happens upon a throng of orphaned kittens. He summons them. They follow him. They fall into a synchronized disco dance routine, and they follow him into a discotheque. Now the kittens are apparently in mortal danger. If I don't succeed at certain challenges, like balancing a broom on my virtual hand, or helping a marionette deflect watermelons, or sawing a barrel half, THEY WILL DIE.
This was the apparent premise of a game I played when I played Wii for the first time. See, I'm not much of a video gamer. My parents refused (rightfully, I now realize) to buy Nintendo, Sega, Atari, X Box or anything more sophisticated than Legos when I was growing up. So now I tend to regard video games either like a cat (where I stare at certain objects and get all riled up when they move around) or an aboriginal bushchild (where I gaze, bewildered, at things I've never seen before and sometimes resist the urge to poke them). Lovely Amanda was kind enough to hand over her Wii control, knowing full well that with my lack of gaming knowledge, I might either eat it or bat it under the couch. Lucky for many of us, I did neither. I also didn't save those poor kittens; every time I dropped an apple from the elephant's nose, identified the wrong missing doll head or failed to direct a guy in a speedo into the correct bathing house, a kitten disappeared.....until their were none.